Want To Stop Your Past From Limiting Your Potential?

Part 1 of a 2-Part Series: How to Have Superhero Confidence!

By: Kathy Kent Toney, President of Kent Business Solutions

Photo by Moose Photes from Pexels

One thing I’ve heard a lot these days among professionals is an ever-creasing need to grow one’s self-confidence. This is especially the case in the midst of our post-pandemic world. The fall-out of making mistakes can be exponential in today’s business environment. The importance of being self-confidence can’t be overstated!

That’s why I decided to interview my friend, Isaac Wambua, to talk on ways business leaders can increase self-confidence. He’s an amazing speaker, coach and owner of Synergy Business Solutions.

Kathy: Welcome Isaac it's great to have you here! Let's start off with your definition of self-confidence.

Isaac: I see self-confidence as the ability to go after the things that you want to go after, to be able to ask for the things that you want. I also see it as having that ability to step out of your comfort zone. I think that's what confidence is all about.

Kathy: Does a lack of self-confidence have anything to do with your past, and if so, to what extent?

Isaac: Yes, but I don't think people really lack confidence…they just don't have enough of it, because there is no way you can have a lack of confidence every single day. You may start out the day with high levels of self-confidence. Then, as the day goes by you, you find that it goes down, because some things may have happened to cause that. So, to an extent, yes…your past can cause insufficient levels of self-confidence or at least a fading of your self-confidence.

Kathy: I’ve definitely experienced that myself. I’ll start off the day, just brimming with self-confidence and then something happens to change that. I may get off-track for a bit, but then I’ll have to redirect myself, to decide to keep forging ahead to get the things done that are on my plate to do.

Isaac: Yeah, that's true. And when you think about it, your self-confidence is a combination of factors that contribute to that. Sometimes it’s something that has been said to you, something that happened, or something that you're trying to accomplish and it doesn't come out the way you wanted it to. And then an aspect of self-doubt can kick in…you start questioning yourself and your abilities. So, it's a combination of all these things.

So, going back to the question of how your past can affect your self-confidence. It depends on the environment you grew up in. Imagine this…

If your family you grew up in was loving and affirming, you are likely to have high self-esteem and high self-confidence. If you were told that you could accomplish anything that you wanted to or that you put your mind to, you're likely to have that aspect of self-confidence.

On the other hand, if you grew up in a family that put you down…you were told you were not good enough or you were compared with your siblings or your cousins…you get the picture.

Then, you went to school and it didn’t make your situation any better, because the grading system doesn't help. You may have felt like you had to be a straight “A” student. Then if you didn’t make those grades, you may have felt like you weren’t good enough.

I'm saying this, because I went through this myself. I grew up in an environment where you’re supposed to be #1 in your class. I was made to believe that I had to be not just an “A” student…I had to be #1. So much pressure!

But I came to realize it's not all about being #1; it's about being your best. That’s really the message I'm personally pushing this year. I'm telling my community and the people that I interact with that your best is the best. All that is needed is your best.

So, the environment that you grow up in has a big impact on your self-confidence. But you can even grow up with high self-confidence and have that tendency change when you, for instance, get married to someone who puts you down or doesn't believe you're good enough. In that instance, your self-confidence is likely to go down.

Any of these scenarios can be as recent as a few years ago or way back when you were young. So, yes, the past does have some impact on your self-confidence.

Kathy: Yeah, I can really relate when you were talking about grades. I had to be #1 in the class and I had to get A's. And that contributed to my overachieving tendency for most of my life, because my parents really expected a lot of me.

Also, you spoke about how events of the day can affect your self-confidence. I just had an experience recently that took a dent in my self-confidence. In those situations, I’ve learned the best thing I can do is to learn from that and work through those things. Doing that helps grow self-confidence…through overcoming obstacles and barriers that we all encounter in our lives.  

Isaac: I like that you used the word “overcoming.” It's not about getting rid of your challenges and obstacles that you have, but overcoming those. Self-confidence is more an ability or skill that you can develop. That means you can get confidence on-call, on-demand, when something happens and it knocks you down.

There are few things that you can do to regain that confidence, to at least move forward. That centers around the ability to go after the things that you want. So, if you face an obstacle, there are some things you can do, both physically, mentally and emotionally, to be able to overcome that and go to the next level. And the problem is if you don't take those actions proactively, then your confidence is going to go down and you're going to have self-doubt. At some point you are likely to think…this is not going to work, and then you give up.

Kathy: That certainly makes sense. I’m glad you’re coming back next week continue our talk on this subject. Can you tell us a little bit about that?

Isaac: Yes. Next week I really want to share some strategies and tactics on how to regain your confidence. Your past does not equal your present and there are some things that you can do, like I said, to get self-confidence, on-demand.   

So, we'll talk about those strategies, and also how to overcome any kind of traumatizing past that affects your confidence. You can get past that! You can anticipate growing that confidence to go after promotions, growing your business, or leading a team…whatever makes sense for you…the type of confidence that opens doors for you.

And it won’t take months or year…it’s something that you can do within minutes.

Kathy: I don't know about the rest of you, but I’m looking forward to that!

Thanks for joining us, Isaac. This has been really good and we are looking forward to having you back next week,

Isaac: It was great being here!

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It's so great having Isaac as one of my amazing alliance partners. He's one of 15 who provide solutions to my prospects and clients. The rest of them are equally amazing, with over 300 years of executive experience!

And that's where I love to come in...to connect them with companies that want to improve their operations.

If you find yourself in need of any type of professional to help your business thrive and grow, I’d love to be a referral source for you. You can just click on the button below and we’ll set up a time to chat about your situation…to discover how we can be of assistance to you!

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