How often have you wanted to quickly connect with someone to solve a critical business issue and didn’t know where to turn to get that help?

Or, would you like to know how to develop more quality relationships that potentially create your own good timing and luck?

If either of these sound like you, then keep reading!

I recently interviewed my referral partner and friend, Frank Bonura, also known as The Connector, to discover some insights around this whole topic.

This is the second of three blogs on the topic of How to Build Relationships, Not Just a Network.

Please note: if you'd like to watch a video version of this interview, click here.

Kathy: Welcome, Frank, it's great to have you here today!

Frank: It’s my pleasure, and thank you for calling me a thought leader!  

Kathy: Well, that’s who you are when it comes to developing amazing business relationships!

Tell me…what are the two primary benefits in creating and nurturing a relationship base?

Frank: The first one is this:

The more people you know and the larger and deeper your base relationships happen to be, that increases your ability to be a resource for others. And being a resource is what enables you to nurture your relationships. We know if you don't nurture your relationships, you just have a network of strangers.

The second one is this:

You actually end up creating your own good timing and luck. For instance, imagine you’re at home and you need something. What do you do? You call your friends.

We all do that if we’re looking for a particular service or whatever it might be; we call our friends—our relationships—the people we trust and respect.

Same thing happens at work. When a business owner or business leader needs something at work for their business, they reach out to their friends, to their relationships with people that they trust and respect.

What's worked for me is having a deep and broad base of relationships. I don't care what your station in life is, as long as you're a quality person, this what I’ve found to be true: the more people I know, I stack the odds in my favor that when a business owner or leader calls one of his or her friends, that friend is going to know me. And that could mean some opportunity for me, either personally or professionally. That’s what’s worked for me.

Kathy: speaking of creating your own good timing and luck, something similar happened to me several years ago with one of my best clients. I had been nurturing a relationship with a referral partner for quite some time. We had a meeting one week and that very same week, one of her clients reached out to her and asked: “Hey, do you know anybody that can work on this type of project we want to get started one?” She immediately thought of me and made the introduction.

Within three minutes of meeting my future client, he hired me on the spot. I would call that good timing!

Frank: Perfect. Great example. There you go!

Kathy: Yes, exactly!

Well, that's a wrap for today, Thanks for joining us again, Frank.

Frank: My pleasure. I've enjoyed it!
 
Kathy: stay tuned for our last segment on the Best Practices of Nurturing a Relationship Base.  You won’t want to miss it!

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Speaking of relationship bases, business leaders know how important it is to nurture customer relationships—to improve their customer feedback loops; however, many don’t know where to start at making improvements.

If that’s you, then download my free Customer Satisfaction Checklist to help you uncover areas where you can improve your customer relationships—so they'll keep coming back for more! 

Ever wonder how to convert the stack of business cards you collected at a networking event into great relationships?
If so, then keep reading!

To answer this question, I recently interviewed one of my referral partners and friends, Frank Bonura, known as The Connector. This is the first of three blogs on the subject of How to Build Relationships, Not Just a Network.

Kathy: Welcome, Frank, it's great to have you!

Frank: Thanks for having me, Kathy!

Kathy: So, tell me what's the biggest difference between building a relationship base and just swapping business cards.

Frank: Well, that's the difference. A relationship base is just that—relationships—which implies mutual trust and respect. Networking very often is just card swapping. And some will say it's a matter of semantics. For them it might be, but there’s a massive difference between the two.

With relationships, you're taking the time to really get to know someone so you can create personal and professional value for them. People that get relationships are focused on that, not quid pro quo, like Adams Toyota telling them they’ll get a free diamond necklace with every test drive.

It’s about creating value when you meet somebody for the first time, bringing them something or doing something for them. It's not about keeping score. And anytime two quality people get together, in my opinion, therein lies the value.

Now, networking events can be of value, but I hate elevator pitches. The last thing I want to do is give somebody an infomercial about Frank Bonura, boring them to death. People are told how important elevator pitches are for networking events.

The problem with that is these pitches are all about them. I know some people who go to networking events and they'll ask questions like: “Hey, tell me about you.” That’s a better way to go about it.

Either way, networking events are like speed dating. It’s often to get to know someone. That’s why it's important to follow-up with some one-on-one time where you have an opportunity to really get to know each other. So, a Zoom call will never replace a handshake, but it’s a great start.

For years I've witnessed people coming back from networking events with a stack of business cards and they’ll just throw them in their desk or put them in a Rolodex, and that's about as far as it goes. So, networking events can be productive if you follow up to schedule meetings, have some meaningful discussions to get to know people and then convert those networking contacts into a relationship base.

The difference is mindset—how you approach it and the depth of knowing someone on the relationship-side. It's knowing them well enough to know what you can do for them as human beings—for themselves and their families. If you have that attitude, you’ll be much more likely to create value for everyone you encounter versus swapping business cards. That’s how I see it.

Kathy: I agree, Frank! For me, I try every day to start out with the idea that I want to create value for everyone I talk with. Not only is that a great motivational factor for me, but it really helps people and that's what it's all about, right?

Frank: Yes! All of this is really pretty simple—it’s about creating value for people. But you do need to be genuine about it. You can't fake sincerity for very long. In the end, this relationship process is really not complicated at all.

Kathy: I agree! Well, that's a wrap for today. Thanks for joining us, Frank!

Frank: My pleasure.
 
Stay tuned for our next segment on the two primary benefits of creating and nurturing a relationship base. You won’t want to miss it!

***

Speaking of relationship bases, how would you like to improve feedback loops to increase your customer loyalty?

If that’s you, download my free Customer Loyalty Checklist to discover ways you can improve your customer relationships so they'll keep coming back for more! 

I got off the phone with a friend earlier this week feeling so inspired by his story, I just had to share it with you!

I met this friend, let’s call him Steve, when I worked at Honeywell years ago. I had been out-of-touch with him for about 15 years and we recently reconnected.

I was surprised to hear that that he has been battling a rare form of cancer for about eight years. As he told me his story, I was amazed at the resilience he’s shown, especially when his doctors told him that he had only 12-18 months.

I bring this all up, because I believe the way he approaches life can be a model for building resilience in our own lives. Specifically, here are three things I think that can help us towards that end, especially if we choose to do them daily:

1. Choose to Keep Moving Forward, No Matter How Bad Things Appear

I was amazed to find out that during this whole ordeal he hasn’t missed any work.

WHAT?!

If it were me, I probably would have had an multiple queen-size pity parties! But no—​he kept working during all his chemotherapy and radiation treatments as well as his current immunotherapy treatments.

And he’s not out of the woods. He’s on long-term immunotherapy, which helps prevent the cancer from growing. But he just keeps keeping on, not letting it get the best of him.

Lessons Learned: No matter how bad your situation is, just continue showing up in life. Keep putting one foot in front of the other to achieve your goals, no matter how challenging the current state is.

2. Choose an Attitude of Gratitude

I was also amazed at how great Steve’s attitude is, even joyous, while we were talking on the phone. He’s so thankful that he’s been able to participate in a drug trial that has helped extend his life and he’s relishing the moments he has.

This attitude of gratitude has really helped him not only be resilient, but to continue to face his challenges head-on with grit and grace. Not only that, his story is inspiring people along the way (like me).

I’ll share in a bit how this how this great attitude has come back to benefit him…

Lessons Learned: choosing to be thankful in the midst of dark times can transform your attitude and inspire others in the process. A positive attitude can make all the difference in the world.

3. Choose to Help Others in The Process

In the midst of his own personal storm, he made a promise to God that if he survived this whole ordeal that he would pay it forward by helping others along their cancer journey. He is doing this through a non-profit he established that’s dedicated to helping those who also have this rare form of cancer. He’s working with a world-leading oncologist to help find a cure as well. It’s been a dream of his for a long time, but he wasn’t able to afford it.

This is the really cool part of the story, how his attitude of gratitude has benefited him…

Someone pledged money to help fund his non-profit! Now he is able to work full-time at fulfilling his dream and commitment to pay it forward through helping patients and their families. He also is helping to raise funds for finding a cure.

Lessons Learned: when you choose to help others during the midst of your own personal storm, it pays off in so many ways--you’re blessed in the process and you, in turn, can be a blessing to others.


I hope this story inspires you as much as it has inspired me. I also hope these tips can help you become more resilient in your everyday life!

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Speaking of challenging times,​ companies are certainly struggling these days. That's why I love to help them out, be it through process improvement, digital transformation strategies or even through newsletters like this.

I also like to create freebies that help organizations, like a checklist of fun ideas to inspire engagement with remote workforces.

If you're interested in learning more about how to do that, just click the button below to download it!

How many of you have experienced the following sticky situation of telling one of your best customers that what you promised wasn’t going to happen?

[Big sigh]…"Not again," you may have thought. Unfortunately, this wasn’t the first time.

It’s definitely not a pleasant experience, but there is a solution that can prevent this from happening again…Voice of the Customer (VOC). It’s an invaluable tool for any business leader’s toolbox!

Not sure what that is?

I like this short-and-to-the-point definition…it’s finding out exactly what your customers need so you can give them exactly what they need.

Here’s a great example of how one of my amazing clients turned their own “oops” moment into a multi-million dollar outcome…through using VOC.

The Problem

This local manufacturer didn't have a standard process for gathering customer requirements to ensure they were incorporated before new product development efforts start. They also lacked a consistent way to continually monitor customer needs during the development process.

This became very evident when the following scenario happened…

My client had recently stood up a new innovation arm of their business for developing smart technology products. One day, they called upon an electrical contractor to install a prototype of their first new smart product at a work site.

Much to my client’s chagrin, the contractor informed them that they had made a huge mistake in the housing of the product that made it non-functional in its current state.

This could have caused ALL kinds of serious issues, especially if they had to go back through a lengthy UL approval process. Thankfully, that wasn’t the case!

The Solution

That’s when the CEO decided to bring in a VOC expert (me)...to develop a new approach they could integrate into their product development process. 

We got right to work! I teamed with them to create “how-to kits” for each different VOC type: surveys, focus groups, customer visits, to name a few. Then we integrated the how-to kits into different phases of their product development process. That way, end users would know exactly how to gather the customer feedback…at the right times and in the right places. Not only that, they would know how to incorporate that feedback into developing products.

The Results

The outcome was amazing! The first new product that used the VOC process experienced the following:

• A significant increase in product safety
• A 40% increase in revenue over previous similar products
• The opening of a new market in a foreign country worth millions of dollars

Needless to say, my client has been thrilled with the results!

There’s another great thing about this process…it’s a drop-in system that can be easily adapted to other product development processes, and it even works for service delivery models. This can really benefit a company…it allows for quicker and less costly implementations.

And when it comes to process deployments, who doesn’t want that?

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If you are facing any of the challenges above and/or would like to do a better job of delighting your customers, I’d love to have a chat!

In the meantime, here’s a freebie I’d like to share with you...a Product Development Checklist that can get you started down the road of developing such a process or to help you improve the one you already have.

Either way, I'd love to have you check it out! Just click the button below to download it. 

Years ago, I dabbled in the wedding singer world. I say “dabbled”, because I had sung at several friend’s weddings for free, so when I was offered a paying gig, I jumped on the chance!

What fun, I thought! Little did I know this would be a BIG lesson in perseverance.

Murphy’s Law was at play from the very beginning. I came down with bronchitis two days before the wedding rehearsal. Then once I got there, I realized I had left my music for one of the songs at home, which was a two-hour drive away.

So, the pianist and I decided we’d practice that one song on the day of the wedding…certainly not an ideal situation!

The day of the wedding came, and I was able to sing, but I still wasn’t in the greatest shape. Unfortunately, my being unprepared and not feeling well got the best of me.

Let me explain….

While I was singing that one song during the wedding, I unfortunately forgot to change keys during one section and I kept singing that same key throughout the rest of the song.  

Ugh! Needless to say, it sounded horrible! But I kept forging ahead, acting as if nothing were wrong at all, but inside I was mortified. Eventually, the pianist caught up with me and thankfully I nailed the next song.

Then the funniest thing happened during the reception. The groom said to me: “You sounded great, Kathy, but the pianist sure screwed up!”

I almost burst out laughing, but instead I thanked him and didn’t say a word about what actually happened. I was so relieved that I had covered my tracks so well!

However, the bride refused to talk to me. And then she refused to pay me!

Although this experience wasn't fun at the time, I can laugh now. Also, I learned several lessons on how to persevere during difficult situations, especially if you're in the spotlight.

Let’s dive into what those are!

1. Fake It Until You Make It

When I made that mistake, I made a conscious decision to stay committed to my direction, knowing that doing anything else would only make it worse. I pretended I knew exactly what I was doing, even if it was wrong.

Lessons Learned: We all make bad decisions, but sometimes the best course of action is to stick to your guns…IF the fall-out could be worse if you suddenly change course. This may be especially true if you’re in a new role and need to inspire those around you to follow your direction. Be confident in whatever choice you make.

2. Have a “Don’t Give Up Attitude”

I made a commitment to sing at this wedding, and I wasn’t going to let anything stop me from doing that. I also didn’t let the mistake I made to limit myself from nailing the next song.

Lessons Learned: Make a firm decision that when you say you’re going to do something, you do it, even if the going is tough.
 
3. Be Tenacious at Getting the Results You Want

My perseverance in bugging the bride to pay me finally paid off…I got a check in the mail six months later. Even more important, the lessons I learned in perseverance with this gig were worth all the time, effort and even embarrassment I experienced.

Lessons Learned: Tenaciously pursue your goals. Then take stock of what you learned…knowing that you can overcome certain challenges can help build in a deeper ability to persevere under fire in the future. This builds even great tenacity.
 

Speaking of challenges, are you in the midst of some that you’re not sure how to overcome? Could you use an outside perspective on how to tackle them?

If that's the case, I’d love to have a conversation with you! If it’s not something I can solve, I have a whole network of alliance partners that I’d love to connect you with.

​Sound good? Then click the button below to schedule a chat.  

I’m sure many of you in leadership positions have asked yourself these questions:

                                               How can I do a better job of driving profitable growth in my business?

                                                           How can I drive the right behavior of my employees?

The options can be overwhelming. But there's one proven thing that can drive profitability...the effective use of KPIs.

There’s been much talk these days about the importance of KPIs, especially with ever-increasing competitiveness among companies. Even so, many leaders either don’t use them or don’t effectively deploy them.

You may be a newbie with KPIs or have been using them for years. Either, way, there’s always more to learn, right?

That’s why I decided to interview David Leavitt, a Principal with ExecHQ. He’s a fractional C-Suite executive who is also advises companies on developing KPIs. 

So, let’s dive into it!

Kathy: Welcome David. It's great to have you with us!

David: Thank you. I'm very happy to be here.

Kathy: Let’s start off with a brief definition of what a KPI is (for those who aren't familiar with the term). Then, can you give us some examples of them?

David: Sure. KPIs, or Key Performance Indicators, are easily quantifiable data that allow companies to evaluate their success against specific targets and objectives.

Organizations rely on these measures to strategically determine the quality of performance and gauge their progress. That is to say, the more you know your strengths and weaknesses, the better you're able to plan your operations, address issues and ensure productivity in the workplace.

Some examples of KPIs might be:

• Sales targets – comparing your sales wins to past performance  
• Quote-to-close ratio – gathering sales conversion rates  
• Employee satisfaction rates – monitoring changes over time
• Asset utilization/capacity – analyzing opportunity cost vs. potential
• Error rates – determining cost of quality

There are a myriad of things you can measure to help drive the success of your business.

Kathy: Makes sense. Can you tell us how valuable KPIs can be for business leaders? Also, if they aren’t using them, what are they missing out on?

David: Many of the best companies have established a data-driven culture and they’re focusing on improving the data they already know about…through data discovery and investing in tools.

It's safe to say that remaining competitive in the business world today depends on understanding such data. Using KPIs properly can greatly affect their decision-making capabilities and can improve the results of the business.

Kathy: I agree. I think I could probably use a better selection of KPIs for myself!

Do you have any advice for those who haven't used them before and how can they get started?

David: Certainly. There's plenty of data out there. In fact, you can get overwhelmed with all the data that is created within a business, small or large; however, my advice is to keep measures simple.

What I try to get people to do is focus on the top-20 most important areas of the business. If they do that and leave the 80% behind, they'll have a better handle on measuring the things that will give them the best and most important results for the business.

When you arrive at the place where you are really good at using KPIs, you might want to invest in some technologies, such as business intelligence tools; however, you first need to define your goals and objectives and then put together your plan of what you're trying to achieve in the business. That will put you in a better position to measure the gaps in the plan.

Kathy: Sounds good. Do you have some advice for leaders who have used KPIs for a while so that they can get even better at using them?

David: Definitely. A good rule of thumb is to create KPIs that are in-line with your long-term business goals. These should be the major indicators that are most critical and crucial to your operations. The more you learn and discover, the more you will want to measure. So, stay focused on the indicators that are adding value.   

And for those that have been at it for a long time, I would suggest investing in a business intelligence platform or data analytics tool to reinforce your monitoring efforts, sooner than later. There are a lot of really inexpensive third-party data analytics companies that are available in the marketplace today as well.  

Kathy: That’s great advice, David. That’s a wrap. Thanks for joining us today!

David: It was a pleasure.

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Speaking of platforms, one great way to measure KPIs is with Accelerate. It’s a workflow management tool that generates dashboards with pre-selected KPIs. You can create your KPIs in the system so that they are automatically populated through employee task accomplishment.

That means managers are able to not only gauge team performance, but can drill-down to view individual employee performance. This can provide data that leads to more effective coaching for under-performing teams and employees. 

This is just one of many benefits Accelerate provides.

Interested in learning more? Click the button below to schedule a time to chat!

I was talking with my amazing sales coach today, Breandan Filbert, and she brought up a topic we’ve hashed over many times. She pretty much said this…

“Kathy, you do a great job of promoting other people. Now you need to really start promoting yourself more!”

Okay, I get the point. I do love to help other people out…it’s just my nature. I’m all about providing value to everyone I meet.

I must admit...I'm enough of an introvert that it hasn’t always been that easy to promote myself. So, I’m taking her challenge head-on by discussing the success I had on a project with one of my amazing clients.

Prior to my engagement with this particular manufacturer, they had a very cumbersome, rigid product development process. There was no wiggle room for jumping ahead in the process, when necessary, to accomplish tasks. It was like they were stuck in the mud.

One of the biggest issues was the approval packet that would get buried on people’s desk, waiting for sign-offs. This is just one of the reasons why it took them two-to-three years to develop their last new product! Considering there’s no smart technology in their product line, this took them waaay too long!

The CEO knew there was a better way. That’s why he hired me.

As a certified Professional Scrum Master, this was right up my alley.

Not sure what Scrum is? A short definition is this: it's a project management framework for developing products, primarily software. But since this proposed project involved a physical product, there was that added challenge to address. So I dove right in!

The first step I took was to delve into their previous development issues. I carried those lessons learned over into the new process to prevent them from happening again. Next, I trained them on Scrum and we developed the new process together.

In just two months, I got them up-to-speed with their Scrum process and left the project in their very capable hands.

And the results were great! Eight months later, they launched not only their originally planned product, but five other component systems as well that fit across their whole product line. If you take the additional products they developed into account, they experienced a product speed-to-market increase of over 100%!

They are so thrilled with Scrum, they're well on their way to using Scrum across their whole business, including service functions like Marketing. They’ve experienced great results in these areas as well.

So, if you want to prevent your project from getting stuck in in the mud and want to kick it into high gear, Scrum could be your answer!

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Now that I’ve shamelessly plugged myself 😂, I’d like to switch back to promoting someone else!

My strategic partner, Michael Cantu’, has developed this amazing app called Ratify AI, which is meeting an important need in the market…how to holistically manage COVID vaccine protocols in the workplace.

It’s been created in consultation with medical experts and lawyers who are are in-the-know on this topic.  It does away with manual daily health checks and tracking with spreadsheets, to name just a few benefits.

If you’d like to learn more about that, click the button below to download our FREE COVID Management Checklist. It will help you gauge the fitness of your current protocols and point out areas where you can improve.

I’d love for you to check it out!

I look at this picture and smile…

One of my passions is playing guitar and singing on my church’s worship team. Sometimes I’m even the leader of the band!

These are my friends and fellow band mates in the picture (with the exception of the baby, of course…lol).

I smile, because we make a great team. We’ve made great music and have had a lot of fun together in the process.  

I say all this as a backdrop to what I’d like to write about today. If you’re not familiar with what I do, I’m all about helping organizations to increase their profitability beyond their imagination…through streamlined operations and digital transformation strategies.

One essential building block for true transformation to occur is great teamwork. Since I’ve learned so much about this from leading a band, I thought it would be great to give you some real-life examples to illustrate some team building best practices you can apply to your own teams.

Let’s dive in!

Great teams….

1. Come Prepared to Work, Yet Don’t Take Themselves Too Seriously

It makes sense that our team does best when everyone comes prepared. And even when they don’t, taking a lighthearted approach can really be effective.

For instance, my worship pastor kept making mistakes one morning and I was actually really prepared. I kept making fun of him: “Hey, you’re the one who’s supposed to be prepared!” We all laughed at his expense and that loosened everyone up.

Lessons Learned: Do the necessary homework to lead your team. And when you find yourself in a situation where you aren’t prepared, be quick to make fun of yourself or laugh at your own expense when your team members poke fun at you. And it’s important to create that environment where team members feel safe to do that.

2. Make Sure Everyone’s on the Same Page

As a band leader, I’ve learned the importance of making sure that team members play or sing the right thing in the right place at the right time. This often involves giving specific directions well in advance of our rehearsal. For example, I’ll make sure to tell the electric guitarist to play a particular riff in one section of a song. This helps our rehearsal to go much smoother.

This also involves giving special attention to new team members, including time outside rehearsals, so they can feel more welcome and be more easily integrated into the team.

A great example is something I did last week…I worked on-on-one with a new background vocalist who  to prepare for this weekend to help her prepare  here and also lessen her nerves. The result…she did great and really enjoyed herself!

Lessons Learned: Give specific directions to team members well before you typically would to help ensure projects stay on track. Also, take specific actions to help new team members to be quickly assimilated into the team. This can help with their morale and future contributions to the team.

3. Work Through Obstacles with Grit and Grace

One Sunday, the worship pastor was out of town and I was left in charge. I had done everything I knew how to prepare, but everything went off the rails during rehearsal.  We had three new team members, and since I was relatively new at leading, I didn’t know what direction to give to the new team members to make it work. My frustration level was pretty high, but I still lead with grit and grace. Despite our challenging rehearsal, we did relatively well during the service.  

Lessons Learned:  Keep forging ahead during challenging times, keeping your team encouraged and giving calm, level-headed direction to hold them together. This sets the tone for them to continue working towards achieving team goals.

4. REALLY Learn from Your Mistakes

After that challenging Sunday, it became evident is that I have a few things to learn about being a better leader to the team! I lacked the experience to do #2 above (Make sure everyone is on the same page). I discovered I needed to learn more about the drummer’s and keyboardist’s role in a band…that was my problem that day. So, I have my homework cut out for me before I lead again. AND, then I’d be more equipped to do #2!

One great outcome is this…if this hadn’t of happened, I would’ve never learned what was needed for me to get better.

Lessons Learned: Take an objective view of your mistakes without judgment and latch onto the opportunity to learn from them. By taking action on those areas, you’ll improve your team building and leadership skills

5. Create Feedback Loops for Improvement Purposes

One thing I did that Sunday was ask for feedback from the team as I was running the rehearsal. Since I didn’t know the next best thing to do, I asked for their thoughts. As the team worked together, we were able to iron out the biggest problems and make it work in the end.

Lessons Learned: Individual team members are often your best source of advice in helping to overcome obstacles. Many times, they know a lot more than you do about different aspects of your projects. Let them know that you are always open to advice to help the team run better.

6. Have Fun Together

I left this one for last, because if you do all the above things, your team is much more apt to have fun together. Remembering to laugh at yourself and laugh together is a key part of that.

That’s one reason why I smile when I look at the picture above…we’ve worked through all these five areas at various times to become a great team that has fun together. Great teams do that.

Lessons Learned: Creating that culture of fun can make all the difference in the success of projects. When you can celebrate your victories, overcome your obstacles with grit and grace and still laugh together, you’re helping to create that fun culture. And that’s a great building block for great teamwork.

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Speaking of teamwork, how many of you are challenged to engage your remote workforce? Would you like to create a fun culture within those teams?

If that’s you, I’ve created a free cheat sheet on how to engage your remote workforce. Just click the button below to download it!

How many of you have made a big mistake that dented your self-confidence and then it took a long time to get it back?

If you’d like to learn how to recover more quickly, you’ve come to the right place!

Last week I had the pleasure of interviewing Isaac Wambua, a speaker, coach and owner of Synergy Business Solutions. He spoke on the subject of how our past affects our self-confidence. He’s back this week to continue the discussion. This go-around he’ll give us some strategies and tactics on how to increase self-confidence…on demand.

Kathy: It’s great to have you back, Isaac!

Isaac: it’s great to be back!

Kathy: One thing I've seen frequently, and even with myself, is people can be so hard on themselves and that can really decrease self-confidence. For those who judge themselves too harshly, what advice do you have for them?

Isaac: That hits home for me, too. That hits home for me, too. I'll tell you what you can do, based on my experience, but before I do that, I'm going to tell you a story.

When I started my business seven years ago, I did it part-time for two years. Then I decided to go full-time in 2016. And I wanted to go big. I wanted to launch this business in one piece, letting people know in town that I was in business. I think I was a little bit cocky!

For the launch, I decided to put together a big event at the Marriott. I had a good number of people to show up. I brought in a few other speakers, but I was the main speaker.

As the event unfolded, according to me, it was horrible…especially my session. It was all recorded. Later, I tried to watch it, but I couldn’t do it.! I kept on putting it off for a week and that stretched into months.

Guess how long it took before I watched that video? Six months! I didn’t want to, because I was so scared. I didn't want to watch myself messing up and embarrassing myself in front of people. It really messed with my self-confidence.
I remember during those six months I got a few clients here and there, but I didn't have the confidence to go out there. I didn’t realize how much not watching that video affected me!

Finally, I decided to sit down and watch it. And let me tell you this…it was one of the best presentations I had ever done! To think that I had been beating myself up for six months! Instead, I could have used that video for marketing purposes and could have gotten more business out of it.

This whole thing taught me lesson. It's not as bad as we think it is. And sometimes we judge ourselves too harshly, more than anyone else. The people that attended told me it was great, but because it was stuck in my head that it was a very bad experience and a very bad presentation, that’s what I truly believed.  

So, for those who are too harsh on themselves. This is what I will tell you…it's not as bad as you think. We judge ourselves too harshly. What you need to do is to take those mistakes in stride. We’re all going to make mistakes, but don't be too hard on yourself. You are learning and growing, it's an experience every step that you take. Even when you think you've messed up, it’s taking you somewhere. So just step out there and be okay to even make fun of yourself!

My speaking coach once told me: “Isaac, I want you to go out there and make a big, big mess. Just embarrass yourself, use the wrong words, if you want. Use the wrong body language.”

What I'm telling you is this…don't overthink it. Just do it. And that was some of the best advice I've ever received. So, for those who are too harsh on yourselves, you can lighten up.

So often, we worry too much about what people are going to say or think about us, but this is the truth: what people say about you is an opinion. An opinion can be changed, but what you say about yourself becomes the truth…it becomes a fact. So, be careful about what you say about yourself. So, in short, just get out there and do it!

Kathy: I just saw a quote the other day and it said something along the lines of not worrying about what other people are thinking about you, because they're thinking about themselves.

Isaac: That’s so true! They’re not even thinking about you, the whole time.

Kathy: And sometimes it's just so easy to get stuck in your head. What advice do you have for people who get stuck in their head too much?

Isaac: I would tell them not to think about themselves and use affirmations. The word “affirmation” comes from the word “affirm”, which is to confirm that this is who I am. We said last week that confidence is an ability…it's a skill. So, there are two things you can do.

First, you always have some kind of a potential within you that you can cultivate. So, tap into that…affirm to yourself.

For instance:

• I'm capable and I'm able to become confident.
• I have some level of confidence
• I'm happy that I've grown to become a confident person

So, these are some of the affirmations you can tell yourself.

Second, know that it's a process…nobody is ever born with a skill. Since self-confidence is a skill that you develop, you're working on developing it every single day. Every time you get in front of people and you present for two minutes, even when your hands are shaking, you're growing. Every time you put together a blog and you get scared, because you think nobody is going to read it, or at least two people are going to read it and criticize you…remember, you are growing. At some point in time, you're going to wonder…how did I get this confident? My advice to you is to just keep going.

Kathy: I love the idea that it’s a process…it’s something we're going to work on for the rest of our lives.

That will be wrap for today. Thanks for joining us today, Isaac! I certainly learned some great tools to use to grow my self-confidence.

Isaac: Thanks for the opportunity!

*****

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